When we walk into a home, the first word we say is, “Hello” or something similar. As adults, (or at least most adults) we know this is a proper social etiquette when in public. It’s respectful and kind, right?

With new age parenting advice and the style, etiquette has been missed tremendously. We just want our kids to be happy. I am not against gentle parenting, but dismissing the basics is not okay.

Having five kids of my own and teaching them etiquette the last 16 years has been one of the things on the list as a ‘must teach.’ I want to share what works to teach kids proper social etiquette and the list of words that we taught our kids to use to ensure they are respectful and socially aware of their surroundings.

Why Teach Basic Social Etiquette?

We all contribute to society in our own way. Whether it’s delivering Amazon packages or staying home with your kids, what we do matters at the end of the day. Our children also contribute to society. Their interactions with other humans makes an impact. So, what we teach our kids at home will impact the world in small ways.

For example:

Mary walks into class, looks at the teacher, walks to her desk and just sits down. The teacher says “Good morning!” Crickets. “How was your weekend?” She puts her hood on. And that’s Mary’s daily interaction with the teacher.

Not only does she act like this with her teacher, but with her peers as well. Instead of greeting them, she starts off with a rude comment or snarly remark. After class, she just pick up her stuff and leaves. You never know when Mary will appear or when she will leave. It feels awkward.

Etiquette is a basic social etiquette practice for communication. Wouldn’t it be nice if Mary would say ‘hello’ or just ‘I have to go’ at least?

5 Words to Know for Social Etiquette

When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I started to dream of all the things I want to do with him and what I wanted to teach them. Respect was one of the top things on that list. And the easiest way to teach respect is in five simple words.

Here are the 5 words to teach your kids for basic social etiquette:

1. Hello, hi, good morning – use these words or some form of greeting when walking into a space. Let people know you are there and acknowledge their existence.
2. Good bye, good night, have a good day – don’t just disappear. Let the people around you know you are leaving
3. Please – no one owes anyone anything. Without the word ‘please’ in the sentence the ask sounds like a demand. We want to give our kids the world and you can. Just don’t forget to teach them please.
4. Thank you – When a server hands you a plate of food at the restaurant, we as adults always thank them for bringing our food out. The same concept applies to our children. We are not their servers, but we are bringing them food or clean clothes. A simple thank you would be great to hear when you spent the time to ensure they have what they need. Once you teach your kids to say thank you to the things you do for them, they will translate that concept other situations and environments.
5. You’re welcome – Don’t leave a thank you hanging. It’s just wonderful to have a full circle of communication. A great way to make friends.

When To Start Teaching Kids Etiquette

Etiquette is not potty training. You can start at a very young age. If a child can learn to react to their name, they are capable of understanding other words as well.

Start using these words in your vocabulary daily. Incorporate sign language to help connect words with actions. As soon as the baby starts to form some kind of words, they will start repeating them after you. As the saying goes, ‘actions speak louder than words.’ Your actions in this case are your words. You teach by example.

My oldest son is now sixteen. My husband and I see the results of teaching our kid etiquette. When we attend a gathering or event, this young man will acknowledge those around him with a simple hello and ensure he says goodbye as he leaves. If he is having a meal at someone’s house, he goes out of his way to say thank you. I am so proud of him! It reminds me to continue teaching my seven year old son to do the same.

It’s Never Too Late to Start

Having five kids can make life so busy. A few years ago, my husband and I realized our two youngest babies weren’t using the 5 basic words during situations when it was necessary. We started to intentionally remind them and made it a goal to teach them. Now, a few years later, we see improvement. There is still work to do because parenting is a journey, but etiquette is now a bit more normal in their vocabulary.

It’s never too late to start.